A Jaunt in the Forest

 

Have just spent 3 days in the New Forest on a Personal Development Exercise with Moorlands College 2nd year students. Great weather and beautiful place. A packed programme of activities designed to challenge us out of our comfort zones, to make us think and to build team spirit. The first  challenge involved being honest - did you touch the rope on the Spider's Web as you tried to squeeze through that impossibly small hole? It does seem to be wobbling a bit, doesn't it? Do you pretend that you didn't feel it, didn't notice that you had touched the rope as you tried to squeeze through? Can you own up to failing? To letting the team down? This is only the first activity! These are people you don't know very well, people you want to impress! Then there was the challenge of surviving in the forest overnight - building a shelter under the stars from a tarpaulin and a very creative wall of woven ferns, collecting dry wood and making a fire . Surprisingly warm and cosy, and not as uncomfortable as you'd expect, the biggest challenge was to sleep with so much noise ( boisterous lads, owls, low-flying aeroplanes and loud snorers) A bit surreal sleeping next to a man I don't know so well. Waking at 5.30am to the sound of bird song, with the mist and fog surrounding the trees was lovely though. The next big challenge was the High Ropes, anxiety levels rose and rose until they were sky high, as I waited my turn to climb the high tower. Tears fell unbidden. Not so much the fear of heights ( though that was bad enough) but more so the pressure to perform from the very supportive  team and from within myself. It's good to be challenged out of our comfort zone, but we need to be aware of when we enter the panic zone, when the heart is beating out of our chest and we can no longer function. Got further up than I thought I would and managed to override my brain with the breathing technique for a while, until my brain could no longer be overridden  and my whole self froze. Suspended high up and time was suspended too, it felt like much longer than a few seconds, until finally I made the huge decision to choose not to go any further, to choose to say 'no.' This only meant having to lean back into the abyss and let myself fall and be caught by the rope that was after all attached to me. Back on firm ground, and shaking like a leaf, I listened to the supportive encouragements of the team, but wondered if I had in fact failed, the only one who couldn't do it. And yet, there was also a new-found freedom in saying no. We are not bad when we say no, a friend once said. It's good to know our limitations. It's ok to say no. Go ahead, choose, You are free to choose, not bound by the expectations of others, and you don't need to have such high expectations of yourself either. ( Or of others for that matter.)
The final challenges involved problem solving - the female contingent stood back as the males analysed and rationalised and worked out the puzzles. I did once find myself in the role of go-between, mediator, between teams, once I had worked out that the teams were supposed to be working together and not competing against each other. I also found myself urging people on to action when there was too much milling about and procrastinating for my liking. I like to get things done, to be doing things, not standing around cogitating. Unfortunately, on reflection, I may have ridden rough shod over a couple of people's feelings without realising it at the time - getting an expert to help do a job that others said they were unsure how to do but had started anyway. The expert piled in and dismantled what they had managed to do. Note to self: Need to be more sensitive to others feelings, especially if they are not very confident about things. Was also reminded of the fact that I am a grafter, a hard-worker, letting others have the vision, then helping to make it happen by sheer hard work. Don't ask me for ideas, just tell me what to do. Or maybe I just need to have  more confidence in the ideas that I have? All in all 3 days of self-discovery, a little bit too loud and too full of activity for my liking, but good to get to know my fellow students a bit better and to hear a bit about their journeys too.